We are inviting more than 300 people to our wedding. That’s just how it worked out. We both come from giant extended families, and we are lucky to have a lot of friends. Many of those people have children, which has caused our list to balloon.
Family + people who are as close as family = 347. Some people consider this exorbitant.
Last week, a coworker was telling me that she had 30 people at her wedding.
“That sounds so lovely!” I responded.
Apparently my response assured her that I too was going to have a petite wedding because she continued:
“I don’t get why people feel the need to have more than 100 people at their wedding. It just becomes a circus. You end up just feeling lost because half the people there don’t actually CARE about you.”
You see, the backlash against the whole “Wedding Industrial Complex” has produced a movement against big, fat weddings. Take a little stroll through Jezebel’s sub-blog “I Thee Dread,” and you’ll find commenters railing against any wedding that isn’t a courthouse ceremony with just the bride, groom, and the minimum number of witnesses required. While small weddings are considered “lovely” and “classy” (god I hate that word) and “meaningful,” anything else is a waste of money (“You could buy a HOUSE”), an attempt to show off (“Do you really NEED hundreds of people there?”), and a pathetic spectacle deserving of mockery (“Big weddings always end in DIVORCE!”).
As I’ve explained, I secretly covet a small courthouse wedding. But I also want the people who molded us into the people who fell in love with each other to be present. That’s a lot of people.
What’s weird to me is that people assume that weddings with more than 70 guests are automatically lavish, over-the-top affairs. My family’s Christmas parties have more than 70 attendees, and we have a great time drinking coke, eating fried chicken and playing cards. Big, loud, fun family gatherings are normal to me, and, while my wedding will be more formal (and expensive) than a holiday gathering, it’s not like I’m going to want a nine-story cake, a seven-course meal, elephants, and ice sculptures of the bride and groom.
And, by the way, why do people have this holier-than-thou attitude towards people who might WANT elephants and ice sculptures?
Tell me: How big was your wedding? Did anyone give you crap about it? And, small-wedding people: Did anyone give you crap about “Your Most Important Day” not being “big enough?”