My wedding ruined Christmas

And Thanksgiving!

OK I’m being over-dramatic. But it did make my holidays a bit more stressful and annoying than usual, thanks to Stupid Wedding Questions.

When you live a plane ride from home, the holidays entail a certain amount of stupid questions and even stupider reactions to the answers.

When I was in high school, it was “Where are you going to college?” (“Oh, really? I thought you’d be interested in better schools…”)

When I was in college, it was “What are you majoring in?” (“Oh, well are there jobs in that?”)

When I was about to graduate college, it was “Have you found a job yet?” (“Oh, well you better find something soon!”)

When I was gainfully employed, it was, “Are you seeing anyone special?” (“Oh, well, you better hurry or all the good ones will be taken!”)

When I found someone special, it was, “When are you going to get married?” (“Oh, well you’ve been together for five years, haven’t you? You better tell him you’re not going to wait around forever for that RING!”)

So, now I’m engaged, and the questions are:

WHEN’S THE DATE? DID YOU SAY YES TO A DRESS? HOW MANY BRIDEMAIDS ARE YOU HAVING? WHAT IS YOUR THEME? WHAT ARE YOUR WEDDING COLORS? WHAT FOOD ARE YOU HAVING? WILL THERE BE OPEN BAR? WHERE DID HE GET THAT RING? ARE YOU SURE YOU LOOKED AT ENOUGH VENUES? HOW MUCH DOES THE VENUE COST? WHAT KIND OF FLOWERS ARE YOU HAVING? ARE YOU SERVING CAKE OR CUPCAKES? ARE YOU HAVING A BAND OR DJ? ARE YOU HAVING A RELIGIOUS CEREMONY?

I’ve already learned it’s a bad, bad, BAD idea to give people too many specifics because it only leads to stupider questions. But the thing about holidays while you’re engaged is that you have to deal with annoying questions in person. No more ignoring emails and “not getting” texts. Suddenly, you find yourself defending the fact that you’re using white (“Plain white??!!”) table cloths to someone who has a prestigious job, two advanced degrees and three kids, and shouldn’t give a shit about your table cloths.

You also have nowhere to hide when your mom and aunties ambush you to show you a picture of a dress you’d look “just lovely” in. And, “Thanks, I’ll keep that in mind” or  “Wow, that’s some dress!” aren’t enough. No, you have to watch them zoom in on “This lovely bead-work” and the corseted back and nod as they explain you can find it at, “OK let’s see now, ‘h-t-t-p-colon-slashthing-slashthing-w-w-w-dawt-f-u-g-d-r-e-s-s-dawt-cawm.”

I’m starting to regret my long engagement … still got holidays 2015 to get through.

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