Children at a wedding? We say the kids are all right!

I Thee Dread polled their readers to find out if kids are a wedding ‘do’ or ‘don’t.’ Most respondents fell firmly into Camp Don’t, which is fine. We are having kids at our wedding, which is also fine.

ahahahahahahaaaaa!!! Obviously I was joking! Kids/no kids is a Wedding Decision, so of COURSE no matter what you choose, people will get mad:

“What do you MEAN you are not allowing my little precious pyromaniac with an unmedicated behavior disorder we are in denial about??? Me and his father are looking for an excuse to get drunk, enjoy the buffet and treat your guests as free babysitters!”

“What do you MEAN you’re allowing little brats at your wedding? I plan on getting rip-roaring drunk and spouting profanity, taking my clothes off, and throwing my wine glass against the wall when the DJ refuses my request for the “Macarena!” I should not have to worry about some parent yelling at me about how I shouldn’t swear in front of their special snowflake or worry about some dumb kid getting cut on the shards of glass!”

I know that having kids at our wedding comes with risks. They might scream, they might throw things, they might interrupt the ceremony. But these risks are present with some of the ADULTS at our wedding anyway. We also have a ton of out-of-town guests, and I wouldn’t want to exclude those people just because they can’t find a babysitter for an entire weekend. Finally (and this is just my opinion), weddings are a family affair, not an excuse to live out a flawlessly-executed twee-princess fantasy. I feel family units should be invited together, so that’s what we’re doing.

I hope it all goes well and that people control their kids (or leave them at home if they know they can’t). I admit, I’m worried about one couple with a baby in particular: They asked me if we could issue them an “extra” invitation so that they could bring a relative to “keep an eye” on their baby during the wedding. Here’s the punchline: They had a strict no-kid policy at their own wedding four years ago.

Did you invite kids to your wedding? Did you have a kid-free one? Did people get mad at you, and were you happy with your decision anyway?


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