Wedding color coordination: Not really my thing

One of those weird questions you get as you’re planning a wedding is, “What are your wedding colors?” Everyone from the photographers you’re interviewing, to your friends, to who the fuck ever wants to know this for some reason will ask you this. Like your wedding is a Hogwarts House or sports team or something.

Although, seriously, a Slytherin-themed wedding would be awesome.
Although, seriously, a Slytherin color palette  would be awesome for a wedding.

“Having a palette makes decisions easier,” people will calmly explain to you like you’re an idiot. “It makes choosing invitations, napkins, chair covers, bridesmaid dresses, centerpieces, flowers, cake colors, shoe color, favors, uplighting and other accents that much easier.”

Know what makes things REALLY easy, though? Not giving a shit about all that crap.

The invitations will be black script on white paper. The napkins will be whatever color my caterer won’t charge extra for. We’re not putting chair condoms with bows on the goddamn chairs. The bridesmaids are wearing what they want. The color pallette of the centerpieces is “whatever was on sale at the craft store the day my mom went.” We’re not decorating with flowers. The cupcakes’ colors will correspond to their flavor. Nobody will see my shoes. We’re not giving out favors. Wtf is uplighting? And wtf are these “other accents” of which you speak because they sound expensive.

None of these decisions required  me to give a shit for more than 30 seconds, and I will maim anyone who forces me to try to give a shit about them for more than 30 seconds.

No, I am not dissing the color-coordinated folks. Many people have an artistic eye and find it enjoyable to weave a magical experience that incorporates khaki, mint and cornflower blue. For others, certain colors have sentimental value. And others just find it fun. And that’s awesome.

So, no, it doesn’t bother me that people care about color coordination. What bothers me is that people seem to care that I DON’T care. This is fresh on my mind because I was just interrogated by another woman planning her wedding and her MOM, who told me weddings “need” to have a “consistent palette,” or it’s “disorienting.” Her florist is going to dye gerbera daisies colors not found in nature.

Did you color-coordinate your wedding? Did you find it helpful?


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