No, I don’t want to do anything the day after the wedding

When I started the process of organizing room blocks at local hotels for our guests, one of the coordinators I was emailing with wrote something disturbing:

“If you’re looking for a place to host a post-wedding brunch the next day, we have a charming breakfast room.”

Post-wedding WHAT now?

I laughed. “Oh, silly coordinator,” I thought. “You are trying to get me to spend more money on something I do not need.”

And then we attended the wedding of my fiance’s college friend. His wedding website included the location of the post-wedding brunch. I didn’t go. Why would I go eat with strangers I’d just awkwardly interacted with the night before when I could sleep in late in a hotel bed?

A few weeks later, a bridesmaid asked me what time she should fly back home the day after my wedding. “Just wanted to see if you had any day-after-wedding events,” she said. I assured her my only plan the day after the wedding was HOT. TUB.

Then an aunt asked me this:

“Where were you thinking of holding the gift unwrapping the day after the wedding?”

Gift WHAT the day after WHAT?

Apparently, my home town (where I’m holding my wedding) is in a part of the country where gift unwrappings the day after the wedding are a Thing. You gather family and out-of-town guests for an early breakfast at someone’s house. The earlier the better, because, according to tradition, you’re supposed to clang pots and pans at the hung-over people. Then, the bride and groom spend hours opening all the gifts in front of everyone.

Having fled my birth region when I turned 18, I had no idea. Everyone who lives in my current city laughs when I tell them this and say, “That’s fucked up. If you have one of those I’m not going.”  Everyone from my home town sighs and says, “Well, it’s tradition.”

I’m not doing it. Any of it. No gift unwrapping. No post-wedding brunch. I will have just spent thousands of dollars feeding everyone the night before. I don’t want to see anyone. I want to sleep and sit in the hot tub and eat left-over cupcakes. And call me crazy, but I don’t think guests really want another obligation event to attend. If I were visiting a city from out of town, I’d like to spend the day alone, exploring my surroundings or just catching up on TLC reality shows at the La Quinta. So I figure I’ll show everyone a great time at the wedding and then let them get back to their lives and spend the next day how they wish.

What are your thoughts on day-after-wedding events? Would you — or did you — host any? Do you like attending them as a guest?

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